Moment of Truth!!!

The other day when I was walking across the bridge, I had a strange feeling. I left her into tears once again and walked out. What else I could have done! After all, I do this all for her, for us, for our life! I love her more than anything else in my life, isn’t that enough! What does she do this all the time! Why can’t she understand that I was busy in my work, she is not a kid anymore! I was going through all these miserable thoughts, the frequent ones now-a-days when this little girl bumped in front of me – “Oh! I am Sorry! Wow, you have such a beautiful tie!” With a surprise and a smile on my face, I responded “That’s ok my child! And thank you very much!” “You are welcome – say my Hello to your beautiful wife – bye” and she left. Sigh! Wow, what was that! The 5 year old little girl touched the right nods of my mood. She made me smile and left. But, how did she know that I am married and my wife is beautiful? She must have seen us somewhere! Or was that just her gratitude! Whatever, but it was a lovely experience! May be a much needed one! That was bliss – you can call it an eye opener for me as well! She just made me feel good when I was feeling miserable about myself! Something that I forgot to do in my life a lot many times!

I forgot to find happiness in what I had. I forgot to acknowledge a good work, because it was just a normal work for me! I forgot to make her smile when she was upset. I forgot to make her realize how beautiful she looks when she smiles! I forgot to say “I love you, sweetheart” when she wanted to hear it the most! I forgot to be her confidence, her happiness, her life – I forgot to be myself. I forgot to say “You have such a beautiful tie”! I forgot to do the obvious things! I forgot to realize that the life is not just about completing all the future plans right on time and go ahead with the next one, but it is about finding happiness in what we have!

A small note of gratitude makes you feel so good at times when you are low! The only thing we need at that moment is a little love and some care from our dear ones! How often we do that? I believe most of us do not have time for it! We are so busy in running ahead in life that we forget to spread smile and live a monotonous life!

We all do this mistake; we forget to do things when they really matter a lot to our loved ones! May be, because we think them to be too small to mention or just too obvious. Small things, that matter so much. Life is a great mystery which all of us fail to understand. We decide to be perfect in our lives, start running for it and soon we end up as a participant of a big, never ending rat race, where we all want to live a perfect life, where every small rat tries to run behind a big rat to grow like it. The ones who get tired out of it either get eaten up by the other ones or die on their own. On the other hand, the ones who are ahead, they start trying to make the world around them change and be like them; but the point is, do we really want to be rat? At least not me!

When I entered this rat race, I became so busy in my goal oriented, patterned, well planned life that I forgot to realize that I have another life as well. The one where the roses matters more than money, the one where small words can bring smile on faces I love. The one, where people and relations matter more than things. The one where I get drenched in rain and do silly things. The one where I lose a game to her and still feel happy. The one where I sing, I dance, I romance! The one where, like the way Seth said in City of Angels, I could say "I would rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it!" Where I could live in love! Where I could be myself!

I don’t want to be a rat anymore! That’s not my race. I don’t want to be perfect either! I am imperfect and I guess that is what keeps me human. I want to be happy now. I want to fall in love every moment of my life! I guess, I still have time! I know what I need to do to start with! Let me call her up and let her know how much I love her!